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Jenna's Journey

Before Delivery:
Today has been a really rough day to say the least. My doctor came in and we filled out the forms for my c-section surgery. As with any surgery, there are risks, so she began explaining them. The risks that stood out, however, are not just the regular c-section risks, but the complications because of the vasa previa. I've always kind of known this, but because of the previa, I am at a higher risk for hemorrhaging. In my mind I've just thought, "no big deal, been there, done that with Lexi!" But then she mentions if they can't control the bleeding, it would require a hysterectomy right on the spot, which could get even messier. Thinking optimistically, the chances of it happening are 1-2%. As much as I'd like to think that's reassuring, let's just think back to all my other problems: hellp syndrome, also a rare condition, retained placenta, not as rare, but still affects a low percentage of people, and vasa previa, probably one of the…

Hospital Life

I don't want to come across as mean or ungrateful because I know everyone means well when they ask, but everyone is always asking me how I'm feeling, some people have even said, "get well soon!" I just want to clear things up... I'm NOT sick, I feel absolutely fine! Everything that is causing problems is inside the womb, there are no symptoms or side effects, no pain or bleeding, just issues that we cannot see or feel. We are lucky this day and age to have the technology to find these kind of issues beforehand because there are no symptoms leading up to it. Undiagnosed and untreated (early delivery), vasa previa has an extremely high mortality rate for the baby, but because we are taking the extra precautions, that rate drops considerably, and for this we are very grateful. In fact, the nurse I had today said to me, "do you know how we used to diagnose vasa previa?... By autopsying the baby!" It's a little morbid and scary, but that's the reali…

Hospital Day!

I've laid in bed the past two mornings snuggling with Lexi for a half hour or so. Anyone with a 4 year old knows that snuggles can be rare, so take advantage of them when you can get them! I knew my big doctor's appointment was coming up in the afternoon, so while we were snuggling, I couldn't help but think that I won't get many more snuggles like this after I'm admitted to the hospital, so I squeezed her extra close! At my appointment the doctor advised me to get admitted to the hospital tomorrow (now today), I was a little shocked, but I can't say I didn't see it coming. I slept really good last night, probably because I knew it was going to be my last night in my own bed for a long time. Then the snuggles this morning with Lexi were extra special and extra tight, our cat even came over and laid down with us. I was hoping I had another week or so before getting admitted but my doctor is going on holidays this week and she wants to make sure that she'…

I Promise I'll Be Myself Again Soon!

I saw this quote on a meme the other day and it really touched me. I've never been one to post inspirational memes or quotes, but I can see how they help people through difficult times, just like music and song lyrics. I mean, who doesn't like a good break-up song when going through a break-up, right?

I'm starting to write this blog before we go for the next ultrasound because I'm really nervous to find out what's going on in there. I'm so used to getting not-so-good news lately, I'm kind of preparing for it, but we are definitely hoping for better news. In the meantime, I just wanted to reflect on some positive things that have happened throughout this pregnancy, they aren't necessarily pregnancy related:

1. Our family trip to California in January. This is another thing that didn't quite go as planned due to the pregnancy, but it was still a great trip that we'll all remember. It was supposed to be a combined family vacation where we'd meet …

27 Weeks!!

27 weeks is an exciting milestone for us, this means that the baby is viable and there is a greater than 90% chance that she will survive if born now, especially if she is over 500 grams (which we know she is). This takes a huge weight off our shoulders, but at the same time, we are just entering the 3rd trimester which is when things will get a little more scary for me. I have to worry more about the pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome, plus the chances of bleeding again from the previa increases. I hate to be a little selfish in situations like this, but everyone seems to put so much focus on the baby; "as long as the baby is doing well, that's what's important!" I get that, and obviously it's the biggest concern for us too. But as I told someone my story last week, she said, "the things we do for our kids!" I thought, "FINALLY, someone is acknowledging my struggles." Not that people aren't concerned for me, but it was really nice to actual…

Introduction/History

This pregnancy journey started a long time before the 2 lines showed up on the stick; a lot of thought, planning, and even hesitation went into it. I'll start with some history from my first pregnancy. January 2010 my boyfriend (now husband) and I decided we wanted to start a family, so at first we went into it with the mind frame that we weren't trying, but we weren't trying to prevent it either, so whatever happens happens; I think we figured it would be a little more relaxed approach and we wouldn't stress about it. After a year of this we got a little impatient and started timing things better and "trying" a little harder. Another year went by and I ended up requiring surgery (unrelated), at which point I asked the OB about our troubles conceiving. She said after recovery from the surgery to try for another 6 months and come back to see her. After the surgery recovery, I ended up getting a new job so we decided to put the "trying" on hold, just …